Two weeks

Two weeks past.
Two weeks gone.

I am doing better, some days at least.
Today I'm ok. A little bitter.
Last night I cried and the husband put Josh's blanket over us and we cried together underneath it.

The world moves on. That might be the hardest part to understand. Some of the world never stopped, some yielded, some paused. Some of the world took a minute and others took a few but they all have to move on.

I am trying. I succeed sometimes now, for brief minutes, to not think about it.

Is it bad that it is still most of my mind.

It is a weight I have to carry, I drag it behind me, or throw it over my shoulder, on my head or in my arms. Never able to fully let it go. Chained as it is to me I don't think I'll ever be free of it. But like everything else, I will adapt and it won't feel so heavy. Every day it'll feel less of a burden. Some day I'll not notice it for an hour, then for two. It'll always be there though. I just have to get stronger through practice.

Josh, Papa and I bought you a book. Robert Munsch's I'll love you forever.

I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be.